Big Brother 12 Family Planning By Lane – Chapter 1 Left Handedness: “The girl has to lay on her left side”

7:45pm Pool Hayden and Lane have just finished their game. They asks enzo if he wants to play. Enzo doesn’t feel like it, He tells them he feels good where he is… he’s thinking about taking a nap on the backyard couch.
Enzo: “lets talk about football yo”
hayden: “we’ve talked about everything 3 times over”
Enzo: “Fine lets talk about airplanes…Lets talk about Life”
Hayden starts playing pool by himself.. Lane walks around the backyard BLANK with the foam paddle in the hottub.. eventually heads inside to take a piss.

7:50pm Lane comes back grabs the foam football and starts passing it to Enzo whose still laying on the couch. Lane starts throwing it with his left hand. Lane: “Damn I got a gun”.. Enzo says he throws better with his left than his right. Hayden: “Ohh a spiral” LAne: “Too much power on my left”. Enzo decides to get up.. all three of them are playing pass now. Enzo asks Lane if a QB is better to be a “Lefty” or a “righty” Lane thinks “lefties” are almost always better because people are not use to it. Enzo wonders why lefties are a endangered species. Lane: “to be a lefty you have to breed differently the girl has to lay on her left side when you go in her” Hayden :”yup”.. they ask Enzo if his daughter is left or right. Enzo: “I dunno”. Hayden tells them about this new baseball player that is ambidextrous they pitch left or right depending on the bater. All three get excited about how awesome this baseball player is. Enzo: “He’ll make mad money he can play back to back games alternating arms”

8:05pm They sit by the pool talk about what they are going to do after the show.. Sounds like Hayden will be doing a lot of travelling visiting people in their hometowns. He talks about going to Vegas, Jersey, Seattle, Houston etc etc..

9:05pm Backyard Bragade. Lane’s coloured his beard. He’s worried he went too dark. Hayden says it look great Enzo says he can’t tell. They trying to figure out what to do.. Hayden plans

Hayden and Lane are both salty at the BLANK weight equipment they have. They all agree it’s not even worth using for the next couple days. Hayden tells them he plans on doing some cardio on the elliptical. Lane is going to take a shower, He feels like going to bed early tonight.


10:21pm Bragade in jumanji Talking sports.. Hayden tells them the baseball coach at ASU made 500k a year. Lane: “it’s funny how college coaches make the same as the pro coaches”. Lane asks Hayden who would he rather coach for professional sports or college level sports. Hayden would choose college.. there less drama and they have more control over their program…

11:00pm Brigade jumanji Enzo telling them how crazy the party scene is in Manhattan. Tells them about the “Tunnel” being a club filled with tran$$exuals that get all done up. Says that they don’t even need to go to clubs to have a good time there tons of lounges and Bars with great music. Lane never goes to clubs in Houston he only goes to bars.. Hayden says they all just go to bars.

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Their perception = “The BraGade”: the Beast, the Animal & the Pussy.

Reality = “The Douche Brigade”: Doucher, Douchier, & Douchiest.

Instead of nicknames, they should have gone for a theme song…maybe something along the lines of “The Dream Police” (apologies to The Police):

The Douche Brigade, they have ego-swollen heads.
The Douche Brigade, they spooge in their beds.
The Douche Brigade, they’re on BB annoying me, Yo. Yo.

I’m just sayin’. Yo!


I like the anyone who makes fun of the brigade


That was actually Cheap Trick’s song.




It’s sad to see these dummies in the final three. Hayden hides his narcissism behind an ugly hairdo, Lane is a fat slob hick who has the personality of a barnacle, and Enzo is a Guido idiot. Granted he’s funny but he’s also a foul-mouthed cry-baby. They have deluded themselves into believing they will be famous after this and make lots of money. Yeah, right. What’s with the misspelling of brigade? Even Dawg knows how to spell that!


Little known fact of barnacles… they have the largest penis to body size ratio of all animals. Check it out, Barnacles Tell No Lies! http :// www . / watch?v=Nd7o6ytz_LM
Now you have seen it all ;).

The Excitement

Britney didn’t know what she was missing out on.


THANK THE LORD!!!!!! Someone called them out on the incorrect spelling of BRIGADE!!!!!!


The kid their talking about pitches in the Yankees farm system. He uses one mitt that can go on either hand.Young kid too late teens early twentys in age.

The Excitement

I’m glad you explained the mitt situation, because the was the first thing that popped in my mind. Like “does he use 2 different mitts or what?”. thank you.

enzo hater

That’s funny…but the first thing I thought of was— WWED what would enzo do


Why is CBS dragging this out til Wednesday? The players and viewers are over it.


What a phoney bunch of assholes!!! ( * ) ( * ) ( * )


I don’t see anything phoney about these people. They’re here to play a game which involves deceiving other players in order for you to get to the top. Hayden, Lane and Enzo did just fine. Sarcasm, humor, smart allect remarks, are some of the things that I enjoy about these 3. Little dumb dumb on Hayden part, but that’s because he lacks life’s experience.
Big dumb dumb on Lane’s part, but that’s because most of it was an act.
Great sense of humor by Enzo. I counting on you to win Enzo.
Ragan and Matt was good too. A few weeks ago, I really wanted these two to be the final 2.
Brendon let Rachel distracted him from the game. He should’ve just concentrated on the game, and date her when the show is over.
Kristen is one tough gal, eating She was the prettiest girl in the house.
Monet, not cute in my book. Most black models and actresses look a lot better than her. I don’t know how she’s a model. Probably because she knows how to model whatever, but her face, not a thing on her face is cute to me. I don’t like Britney, but Britney is much cuter than Monet.
Well, that’s enough. Don’t want to drag this out.

BB Fan in PS

By the way, The Dream Police was a song by Cheap Trick, NOT The Police. Oh, and, Yo!


who cares it was funny

Rik Nielsen

Rik Nielsen cares


Robin Zander, Bun E. Carlos, and Rockford, Illinois might care.


Did lane just say you have to “breed differently”? She has to be on her left side when you go in her?!?! Are you serious! This idiot is on some other planet.

The Excitement

I’m gonna try that!


Just imagine if Hayden and Britney had children together and how big their teeth would be. It’s scary. lol


Is anyone else shocked at how dirty the house is….? Can anyone that has been watching this show for years and watching the final two or three testify as to the dirty level of this house in comparison to others???


They know they’ll be out of there soon. So what’s the point of cleaning. :P


In all the previous BBs the house has never been as messy and dirty as this years. I’m surprised they weren’t made to keep it clean and neat. I know there is no way I could have lived with them with the exception of Kathy who did all the cleaning while being in the house. They are disgusting pigs.


They are like Spartens..they seem fine with no women around… my guess is any moment the circle jerk begins!!! Drama yo!


I really think people take these guys way too seriously, I think they just say crap being funny, I highly doubt they believe the stuff they say. Lane fat, come on he looks like he is in really good shape and what does their body weight have to do with their game. Everyone talks about how Britney talked about everyone it seems like people are hypocrites because thats all some people do on here is talk about people. If you really hate the show this season why are you watching it. These guys got to the finals somehow, so I think they deserve some credit. I think they did a good job manipulating the whole house into doing what they want to get where they are. If the other houseguest were that stupid to fall for it, well that is there stupidity you cant be mad at the brigade for it.


Lane actually seems like he has lost weight since the beginning of the show.

Til the Fat Lady Sings

I’m not saying he’s fat, but when he had his shirt off, I thought his tummy looked flabbier than at the beginning of the show. Even if he were fat, it wouldn’t mean anything to my opinion of him.


Fat??? You guys have to be kidding. Anorexia is out, out, out. Lane’s weight is fine. Leave him alone.


I think they have been told what to talk about they knew the titian’s played on Sunday and the colts will play on Monday….I think BB has filled them a lot of crap….this is the 1st season that have talked about DR sessions and what was said…They have been showing a lot of things in the house because they are talking about thier personal life’s so much. I really hope Lane wins….He really had not talked about anyone and is very well liked and I think they say alot of things to be funny… Give these guys a break they have not become the final 3 with out making some decisions and working together…

brigadelover- TEAM LANE!

I agree with cholmes 100% …….Lane to me looks thinner than the beginning of the show, even in his eyes look different, I actually thought he wasn’t feeling good there for a while??? I noticed Simon posted his story about the “aasult” earlier….love how everyone was quick to get up on him, when it seemed like it was all statred by the other guy. I really don’t think Lanes all that bad, nasty or whatever! JMO…no need to jump all over me here!

Curtain Call for BB

False logic. He’s not the sharpest tool in the toolshed but I would never expect that Lane to admit that he or his brother were the assailants and knowlingly confess to a crime. Even though he said it from his perspective, he admitted that “football players fight in packs”. Besides, a few words of slander about an ex-girlfriend does NOT justify allegedly breaking into and beating up the victim.. Remember the alleged attack occurred in the aleged victim’s apartment, INTO WHICH HE DID NOT INVITE HIS ALLEGED ASSAILANT(S). We also have no idea what he said that might have implicated him when BB bubbled him out.

off topic....

Garbage, I can’t wait for Survivor to start.

Talk about a snoozer. The whole.reason AG is showed the “best of” episode was because all the editing in the world couldn’t put together a decent 1 hour show.

Curtain Call for BB

Since so many of the best scenes made their favorites Lane, Enzo, and Brendon look poorly, they had to leave them on the cutting room floor. It would have been dramatic to have shown creepy, bully Brendon behaving badly as he did so many times, but then he mightn’t win America’s Choice. They couldn’t show Enzo saying the wifey makes very good money and that he only works until 1 pm and has a housekeeper after they had the interview where she said he works two jobs. They couldn’t even show Enzo calling women c*nts because some viewers might no longer find him so funny. And they had many choices of clips to add for Lane including the shower scenes, the alleged assault, and the 8 second “game” scenes, but then America might have been really perturbed. BB has purportedly even scrubbed the sound from the Live Feeds playback when he talks about the eight seconds r**** “game”.

The Excitement

what exactly is the 8 second game?


Go back a couple articles before this one. You’ll see the explanation from Lane.

Just a Thought

Lane explained it as screwing a girl doggie style when your friend bust in the room (this is all planned of course) and you have to hold on and keeping screwing her (holding her down, essentially r**** because it is no longer consensual sex at this point) for 8 seconds while she tries to get you off her and cover up. Sick, sick, sick. Not like you would expect much from a guy who likes to spot light, put a bag of kittens in a dryer (or washer, either is sick). He is has some serious issues.

Just a Thought

friends plural, not friend.


Okay, I now want Enzo to win over Lane. I DO NOT want Lane to win a dime.


If the show was on MTV, VH1 or something like back or if was like the Real World first started than the edit would be different. It’s CBS not cable so thus the watery versions.When editing, CBS/BB Brother has to think about the general public and the almighty advertising dollar when editing this stuff down. They know if something is shown on there that some people get up and arms about than there you go. So basically it has to be dumbed down for the mass mainstream public. I personally think their edit is atrocious and I would never follow the show again without either coming to a site like this well done one and/or watching BBAD. They are showing these characters and than you look look at them unedited and see the real deal.


” Amen “

off topic....

YA KNOW…… How about putting the “reality” back into this show? Would it kill them to put a “TV14” or higher on the intro? I mean seriously, stop “manufacturing” the show and just SHOW us who we really are watching!


instead of reminicing they should have a day at the jury house.


Amazing how everyone is saying that Enzo (Ginzo) has no game. The fact that a guy with no intellect and poor physicals skills could make it to the final 3 proves how great a gameplayer he is. Some of you just don’t get it!!! He is CUNNING and that is the most important skill in this game. Not intelligence or strength. He knew his shortcomings and much like an animal in the jungle he devised a strategy to survive. Form an alliance (BG), ride coattails (all), and let others do the dirty work (matty). SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST. HE IS A GREAT GAME PLAYER!!! He also understands that the idiots in the JH will NOT vote on “the best competitor”. They will vote on EMOTION and will vote against those who they feel wronged them. They will want revenge. Ginzo has the least amount of dirt on his hands and will win a JH vote if he makes it to the final 2.


Oh Yeah! That’s exactly what I was thinking too.
Da Boss’ job is not to win things, but rather to manage his boys. Enzo, aka Da Boss, did just that, he managed a walking boot legged wig, and WWE wanna be.
Now it’s time for the crowd to pay Da Boss.


What you described isn’t Enzo’s game strategy, it’s his getting through life strategy.
This is a skill he has mastered throughout his life , ride coattails, do nothing, let
other people do your dirty work for you, let wife provide a better standard of living
which he wanted to become accustomed to. Ask anyone who he has grown up
with and I bet you they will tell you this isn’t a game plan with him it’s a life plan.



And the life plan worked!


ENZO is my FAVORITE!!! (of the 3 left) A GOOD BOSS KNOWS HOW TO DELIGATE! THAT IS WHY ENZO HAS MADE IT THIS FAR. He surrounded himself with IHO the best players, and they got him to the final 3!!!


LOL and he knew they were going to be the best players after 2 days.
Instead of being called the Brigade he should have called them the
FLOTILLA . They lucked out because other people make bigger
targets of themselves, not because Enzo is some great mastermind.


I think last night show really made Rachel look soooooooooo Stupid


Only last night’s show?! ;)


Rac-hell did that the entire time she was in the house, nobody made her look stupid but herself. Ragan was excellent at calling her dumb ass out on things, I loved it. I hope she does have book smarts because she is as dumb as a rock. Brendon means nothing to her, and I don’t think his porch light was very bright either, but at least he was likeable after she left the house. As for these 3 left, their engines are running but nobody is driving, it’s sad. I almost feel sorry for them because they are going to hear about all the awful things we have said about them. I know, I know, but Rachel deserves her ass handed to her on a platter….. end of a stick or something :)


you are clueless.


I’m clueless….about what??/ Rachell being a BLANK? or maybe the 3 stooges???
Gee, please enlighten me.


Made Rachel look stupid, Rachel is stupid!!!!


This show has become a complete joke. It is obvious the whole staff is talking to these guys on a daily basis. They know all of the names of the people “behind the walls.” They plan on partying with them after the show is over. This has never happened before…at least not to this extent. I think CBS knows they screwed up bad this year with the cast and they are in complete damage control and they are doing a piss poor job of it. Hopefully they’ll learn something from this season and the show will continue, but that is probably just wishful thinking.


WOW…wonderfully said Eaglebirdie.


Thank you. I’ve been a fan of the show since season one. I’m sure it’s hard to keep things fresh on a show for a long period of time, but I think they are just trying too hard. Most shows don’t last ten years because it’s so hard to keep things fresh and keep people interested. I think if they just let the show progress on it’s own instead of trying to make it what they think it should be, it would be a much better show. I think they panic to fast when they think things aren’t going as well as they think they should be. Just let it go and the drama will come…..guaranteed. The producers are outthinking themselves. It’s all an ego thing.


Well said and I agree. If they left the damn show alone and let the game plan out on its own instead of manipulating the results, the ratings may have been even better. I think it all started with Matt. They did not want him to end up winning and have a PR disaster on their hands(jonny fairplay) and they felt that with the Brigade he could go deep in the game. I do not feel sorry for Matt (karma) but he was clearly setup by production to lose. Once they got involved, it seems as though they could not help themselves:
1- The Brandon rope competition was rigged. Watch the tape on the difficulty of the ropes
2- Rachel was brought back to damage matt
3- Brendon was pulled out of the game to be coached
4- The buzzer competition brendon won was the most blatant. No competition, just a mAtter of who rings the buzzer first? Cmon! Oh and be sure to edit and cut away if anyone else rings in first!!


the rope comp was not rigged for brendan, his ropes were tangled up so bad, he was stopped lane had a chance to pass him but lane is a dumbass
and the pov comp brendan won because he never hesitated on anything he was willing to do anything to stay in the house


I don’t think it was rigged either. Brendon just wanted it more, and Lane is a dumbass. I do think the Pandoras box was rigged according to who was HOH. What they should do is have 5 different envelopes or buttons to push. That way, each HOH chooses randomly which PB they get. Otherwise it looks rigged, even if it isn’t. Matt gets to choose the DPOV, and Brit gets an hour with Jessie? Brendon gets to go out and let Rachel back in the house while Lane gets 92 bucks? They should have to pick a box without knowing what they will get. That way, any of them could have gotten the DPOV. The way it went down was scripted and not really fair.


I’m sure pandora’s box wasn’t rigged for certain houseguests but I agree it really does look like it was


Me too. Long time fan of the show. I have watched it go from an interesting social experiment with unpredictable twists and competitions to an utterly predictable formula with the same stereotypes and even the same competitions. In earlier seasons production allowed things to play out, they punished people for not following the rules and there was plenty of drama. This season the big twist fizzled in the first week. Production scrambled to get the show back on script, but they kept making things worse. They should have just butted out and let things develop on their own, but I think they were hoping the Branchel showmance would be a repeat of last years J/J relationship that so many people (not me) loved. They also helped the brigade because they erroneously thought we wanted to see them make it to the end. Enzo broke all kinds of rules, but there were no consequences. Why is that? Obviously production wanted him in the game, for whatever reason. It’s their show, they can do what they want, but I am still pissed that they cut the feeds last week. The show needs a serious rethink. Or even better, throw away the script and do something new. Bring back the unexpected! And I want to see them less pampered and paranoid, not knowing what to expect.


jeff and kevin were both punished last year while eating while a have not, this year enzo cheats and no punishment, my only hope is he walks away with nothing

dont hate

we keep telling you enzos is the boss, lol


lets see how the boss likes being kicked out on wednesday with no money


Paint is more exciting to watch dry than watching the bragade


is it just me or is meow meow just a big pussy go home already